Exile
by C.W. Smith
Summary: If you didn't know what the price of paradise would be, would you hate the one who denied it to you?


Exile

An Evangelion Fanfiction

By: LD

Disclaimer: If you don't know that all these fanfic guys don't own Eva by now... then I can't help you.

The day was bright and cheerful, with a cool breeze wafting through the air. It caressed her cheeks and blew her hair gently across her eyes. She swept her fingers through the long crimson strands as she walked with her friend. The conversation however was one sided, sadly enough as it always was. The red haired girl hadn't spoken for a long time, almost three years. Ever since the fall of NERV and the Third Impact Asuka Langley Soryu had been totally silent.

She was lucky though. Even though she never spoke she still had her best friend. She lived with Hikari and her sisters now. Kodama and Nozomi treated her as one of their family. For that Asuka was grateful even if she felt guilt there. She wasn't responsible, and wasn't held responsible, however she still was uncomfortable. Their father had died in the invasion, and Kodama had been declared the legal guardian for her sisters. She was kind enough to take Asuka in as well.

The Horaki sisters were all she had now. The events of the Angel war and the final invasion of NERV were kept away from the general public. Misato had died protecting Shinji Ikari and was hailed as a hero for trying to stop what happened. Asuka Soryu was praised for her skills in the battle against the nine Mass Production Model Evangelions, a true example of heroism. Most all of those who survived NERV's last stand were honored, the military officers decorated. All except for one person.

Asuka and Hikari could see him as the got closer to the school. Hikari's eyebrow always twitched as she saw the worthless bastard entering the school grounds ahead of them. She held nothing but hate for that boy, and she wasn't in the minority. Where ever he walked people would just get out of the way not wanting anything to do with him. Hikari despised the boy for what he had done to her boyfriend Touji, and for the death of her Father during the invasion. Hell, it was Shinji's fault that Asuka never spoke anymore. Her logical mind said he wasn't responsible, but that didn't matter. All Hikari could feel when she looked at Shinji Ikari was loathing the likes of which she never knew possible.

It was like that for most of the student body, nothing but disgust at the sight of the last Ikari. Even those who didn't know who he was, or what he did felt it. If you asked these people why they hated him so, or even what he had done to deserve it no one could tell you. But that didn't stop them from feeling it, or acting on it at times. No one felt he least hint of guilt over the unbridled loathing towards their peer.

Hikari and Asuka avoided Shinji like a plague, or at least Hikari did. No one could tell what Asuka thought, but one only had to look in her eyes. Unlike everyone else who seethed in anger at his sight her eyes told a different story. When Asuka saw Shinji Ikari her eyes filled with infinite sadness. No one really paid attention to that look though, they just wrote it off as her remembering whatever it was that he had done to her.

This was the way of the world, the way Third Impact had left it.

Hikari and Asuka sat down at their seats and prepared for the day. The class all did the same, but Ikari sat in the very back against a corner. No one would sit near him, and there was at least one empty desk on any side of his. Hikari wanted to keep it that way, no reason to force someone to sit next to the monster he was. There were still plenty of seats in the class open, she'd just use them if she needed to. Which, when she checked her computer, she would. Another new transfer student, probably coming in with her parents or something. Even three years after the Impact there weren't many kids in their class.

Most of the parents who came in kept their kids far away from the city of Tokyo-3. Asuka was still there obviously because of NERV, as were the Horaki sisters. Though their father had died they were bonded to that place. Kodama worked hard in one of the shops that served the workers. The rebuilding and restoration of the Geofront continued even though for the most part it was a giant hole in the ground. Most of the area along the crater had been rebuilt so it wouldn't flood. Even after three years the reconstruction hadn't been completely finished.

All too soon the class started, and the new student entered. She stood about as tall as Hikari, a little shorter than Asuka but with darker red, almost auburn hair. Her eyes were a bright emerald green as she stood there with a bright smile on her face. She scanned the classroom and took in the faces of her fellow classmates. Then her eyes fell on Ikari, and almost immediately she felt the revulsion all the other students felt.

However, unlike other new students, this girl actually started wondering why she felt this hate. She had lived her life by a simple rule, never jump to conclusions. Her feelings now were demanding exactly that however. This did not sit well with her, she hated this predestined bitterness. Even more then she hated the boy sitting in the back of the classroom.

"Hi! My name is Mana Kirishima," she said.

--

The first half of the day had gone slowly for Mana. The lesson was dull, however the two girls she was sitting next two were rather nice to be around. Though Asuka didn't say anything the whole time. Hikari showed her around the school during lunch, with Asuka right next to her. While the tour was interesting, it did not answer the questions she really wanted answered.

"And just so you know, anything you do to Shinji Ikari will be ignored," Hikari said.

"Who?" Mana asked, noticing Asuka looking away from her and Hikari at the mentioning of the name.

"The boy in the back of the class. That he's even allowed to be with the normal population is an atrocity," Hikari said. Asuka flinched when she heard Hikari's opinion. Mana noticed this as well.

"I was actually wondering about that kid. I don't know why but just looking at him pissed me off," Mana said. Once again, she noticed Asuka flinch. What was going on here?

"Go with it, the bastard should be executed publicly as far as I'm concerned," the Class Rep said. Mana didn't know why she seemed to like that idea, but she did know she was disgusted by it as well. She decided to try to get her mind off these dark thoughts.

"So Asuka, what are you studying for?" she asked. Asuka didn't reply, simply lowering her eyes to the floor as the walked on.

Hikari answered for her, "She really doesn't need to study for much. Asuka already graduated College back in Germany."

Mana was impressed by this, however that wasn't the part that interested her. Asuka seemed to not speak at all. She asked Hikari about this later, while Asuka was outside of earshot.

"She hasn't spoken in three years. She used to be so energetic, almost larger then life. You remember that incident a few years back?" Mana nodded indicating she did. Hikari continued, "Well, I don't know the details. Only NERV, the government, and a few others do. But ever since she's refused to say anything. I don't know what happened to her, but I am certain that monster had something to do with it!"

Monster, Bastard, Ikari. That feeling of loathing returned when Hikari used another word that had become associated with the boy. This was something the young woman couldn't fathom though. Usually at least if you hated someone you had never personally met you knew something. A news report about some incident, a face towards their identification so you could alert authorities. She had none of these, yet her mind kept reacting as if it was conditioned to.

Asuka rejoined them, and as the three girls joined two other boys outside for the remainder of the lunch period Mana resolved herself to one thing. She would confront Ikari about this and find out a reason. One way or the other.

--

The school day was over, thankfully. Shinji walked home alone as usual. He didn't pay much mind as the people around avoided him. It was just another typical day since the Impact. Since he had for that brief moment joined with every soul of humanity. That moment had seemed like an eternity, when the world was to him as an open book. He could still remember the entire day as clearly as if he was still living it. He could remember the brief glimpse within each soul as the Human race slowly became one entity. But it was the long and enlightening view of one specific soul that stopped it. That stopped him.

He was about to allow it all to happen before she came to him. It was that, and the realization of what this vast combination of souls would cost that allowed him to make the choice he did. Though every soul on Earth now seemed to despise him. If the cost of making the right choice was the eternal pain of loneliness and the spite of an entire race, well he could live with that.

He entered the apartment that held all his pleasant memories. The only place that had truly felt like home, even in the dark times. Though he lived there by himself he was not without a guardian legally. Shinji was left to fend for himself as in his younger days. Though he wasn't bitter about it, simply lonely now.

"_I made the right decision,"_ he told himself. Everyday he came home he thought the same thing. It was one of the very few things that kept him from spiraling down. He checked the answering machine even though there was almost never any messages. However, today there was one, but looking at the calender proved why.

He hit the playback button anyways, happy for the sound of another human voice, "Shinji, it's Fuyutsuki. I'm just calling to let you know that all the monthly deposits have been dealt with. Your rent and utilities have been paid through the month. I... I am sorry."

Professor Fuyutsuki had been declared Shinji's legal guardian after his father and Misato had died. Shinji knew the old man hated him, as did everyone else. Unlike everyone else though the elder professor was plagued by guilt for his part in Shinji's predicament. As Shinji set his belongings away and pulled out his homework he felt a light pecking at his calf. Looking down he saw his only true friend in the world right now.

"Good afternoon PenPen, are you hungry?" he asked the pudgy bird that always seemed smarter then he should. PenPen nodded and Shinji prepared some fish the way the penguin enjoyed. PenPen was smarter then most animals, his mind almost really to a human level. Though he physically couldn't speak to Shinji he could understand him and communicate with the boy somewhat. PenPen knew Misato was gone, and when Hikari had moved him back to Tokyo-3 he had left the Horaki's. PenPen just felt Shinji needed him more than Asuka or Hikari.

The night progressed as it often did, with Shinji finishing his homework then preparing a small meal. He always left a place set for at the table for Misato and Asuka. He knew they wouldn't be joining him, but not doing so wouldn't be right in his mind. Perhaps, one day those two spots would be taken by actual people. That was his hope at least.

With dinner finished and the dishes cleaned, Shinji made a pass through the whole apartment. He went to Misato's old room, which he had throughly cleaned and organized into a spare bedroom. She was gone and not coming back, but he did keep things that had been hers. The cross she had pressed into his hand when she saved him was always on his person. He had also kept one of her red jackets, wearing it when he went out. The pictures she had taken of the happier times were all safely kept and organized in an album. He looked through them more often then most would consider healthy.

He then went to Asuka's room. As with Misato's he had cleaned it and organized everything. However he did not turn it into a spare, instead ensuring that everything he had of the red haired girl was ready for her return. Even the yellow sundress she had worn the first day they had met was meticulously cared for. He knew she might not fit in it again, but it felt wrong to simply be rid of it. Her room was exactly as she liked it though, and that was fine with him.

He retreated to his own room and went to bed for the night. His sleep was never pleasant however, plagued by nightmares of the day he had lost everyone again. He would cry in his sleep, wishing for them to forgive him, to come back. PenPen always heard him, and every night would spend some time in the boy's room perched at the head of Shinji's bed. The penguin would always stroke the boy's head, as Shinji would scratch his, hoping to give him some comfort. After all, Shinji needed PenPen more then Asuka did. And Misato wouldn't want the old bird to abandon the boy she had seen as her son.

--

The first few weeks she had been at the school had been uneventful. Mana had gotten into the usual routine easily enough. She had her homework ready on time and spent time with some of the new friends she had made. However every time she tried to find some time to confront the Ikari boy something would happen. Hikari would drag her off to show her something, the boy would simply walk away, or the crowd would block her so he could get away. It was as if some force was trying to prevent her from approaching him.

She wrote it off as coincidence. Because today she had her chance, as it was Ikari's day to clean the classroom. The person who was supposed to help him had run off, leaving the young man alone to perform his duties alone. It was always the same way when Ikari had cleanup, his partner would ignore the assignment and leave him. This was Mana's chance to do what she needed to do after school today. She was alone for lunch, as Hikari had some things to attend to and had taken Asuka with her.

Another mystery was the Soryu girl. She never spoke, never did anything unexpected, and was rarely more then three feet away from Hikari. Mana had been watching her closely, curious about the red head. Mana had noticed the occasional glances to the back of the room, which Hikari either intentionally didn't see or missed what the red heads eyes were saying. Mana had also noticed how Hikari hardly ever seemed to give Asuka a chance to speak for herself. It was as if Hikari was intentionally trying to keep the girl quiet.

She pondered on all of this information, formulating her strategy when someone said, "You're going to try to find out what's going on, aren't you?"

Mana turned and saw Kensuke Aida leaning against a tree. His profile was imposing to her, though she didn't find him bad to look at. The sandy blond mess of hair had grown long, as he didn't keep it cut like most of the other boys did. He had in fact pulled it back into a pony tail, something very unusual in today's society.

Had she known him three years ago she would have noticed the missing glasses, long since forfeited for contacts. She would also have noticed his change in behavior, the former military Otaku focused more on his studies and life than military hardware. Mana felt that he was kind of cute, in a childish sort of way. The look on his face however was as it mostly was, all business.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You've been watching Ikari since day one, and Asuka since day two. You've also been trying to get close to Ikari, for what purpose I can't say. Are you planning on trying to kill him? Or is it something else? Something that doesn't sit right about him to you?" Aida said.

Mana sighed, "It's that something that doesn't sit right that's bothering me."

Kensuke nodded, "I used to be his friend, so was Touji. Three years ago, well lets just say things happened. Touji's sister was hurt, and then he was crippled. We had been close friends with Ikari at the time, but after the... incident, we just couldn't look him in the eye anymore. We both noticed the feeling of contempt toward him, which was weird since we actually liked the guy. A strange duality really."

Kensuke moved from the tree and sat next to Mana as he continued, "Hikari was also friends with Asuka back then. They were both going through hard times for reasons I can't say. Hikari's feelings of contempt however came at the same time, and were all focused on Ikari. Touji and I feel them too, which we don't quiet understand. Well, we have some reasons to dislike him, but the level of hate we saw directed and felt directed towards him threw us. It's only the fact we used to be friends that stays my hand now."

"What happened three years ago?" Mana asked.

"That story... is not mine to tell. Only two people at this school have the right to tell it, one won't even speak, the other no one will stay around long enough to hear it," Kensuke said. He then got up and began walking away. Before he did he looked over his shoulder at Mana. "If you manage to hold in the hate long enough to listen, then you would be the first person who ever bothered to try."

And with that he was gone, leaving Mana with more questions but fewer answers.

--

School had been out for almost a half hour, leaving the halls mostly empty. Shinji didn't mind, focusing his mind on the task at hand. He was almost done with the floor when he felt someone behind him. He readied himself, this wouldn't be the first time he had been jumped like this. Though he detested the idea of having to fight, he had learned that just taking the beating only made it worse. His grip tightened on the mop as he kept about his labor.

"Who are you?" a feminine voice asked. Shinji turned around and saw the new student standing in the door way. She walked slowly right up to him, "Why am I so driven to hate you? Why is it when Hikari or someone else calls you a monster I can't help but agree? Why is it when they talk about how badly they want to see you hurt I can't help but feel right about it? Why am I feeling this?"

He turned back to his work for a moment, and then sighed, "You don't like the feeling?"

Mana frowned, "I don't like hating someone for no reason."

For the first time in three years Shinji actually smiled. As he went back to work he said, "Let me tell you a story. There was once a boy who had been abandoned by the world. After he had lost his mother to a demon, his father sent him away and spent ten long years trying to find a way to get her back from the demon. The problem was he needed the demon to fight other demons as well. He created an avatar of an Angel in his wife's image. But when the time came the avatar had been seriously injured. So he sent for his son, who he finally had a use for.

"At first the boy refused, horrified the only reason he had been summoned was not because his father loved him but because he was needed to control the demon. That was when the injured avatar was brought out to fight instead. The boy saw her, and couldn't possibly live with himself if he allowed the avatar to go in his place. So instead he decided he'd do it. The battle against the demon that attacked was hard, and eventually the boy's demon lost control, ending the battle. The boy had no choice but to fight the other demons that would come after them with the one his father had tamed.

"The war with those demons was hard on the boy. Eventually though the avatar healed and joined him in battle. Later they were joined by a girl with a crown of fire. The whole time they fought this war, a warrior woman looked after the boy and the girl of fire. She became their mother, and leader, and friend all wrapped in to one."

Shinji stopped long enough to ring out his mop and then started on a new patch of the floor, "As the war went on the boy began to fall in love with the girl of fire. He didn't recognize the feelings though, wrapped up in his desire to be seen by his father as something else. He never noticed her pain, or her past. Truthfully they never mattered to him as all he saw was the girl and her indomitable spirit. But that spirit was a facade, as she was fragile and as hurt as the boy was. Eventually her pain consumed her, driving her into darkness. At the same time his father used the avatar to prepare to bring back his lost wife. The boy always felt something familiar about her, but couldn't explain it."

Mana listened to the story, wondering what this had to do with her question. He didn't stop though and continued, "He even saw the incarnation of the avatar die in battle, but she was resurrected by his father. One of the father's confidants betrayed the father and showed the boy the truth of the avatar. He couldn't handle it, but still had to fight. That was when another boy came to stand along side him for the final battle. They became quick friends, almost brothers.

"Sadly though, the new boy turned into a demon. The boy was forced to fight the demon that held his brother in arms face. Of course the boy was victorious. However he couldn't feel happy the war was over. After all, he had killed his best friend to see it to the end. That had been the point that broke him. He would sit and wait for the girl of fire to come back from her darkness, but she never did.

"Little did he know that his father had angered a secret council of powerful men. These men sent an army of humans to kill the father and his followers, including the boy. The girl of fire was taken to her demon, in hopes the demon would protect her from the invaders. The Father took the avatar to the Angel, hoping to complete what he had begun with a forbidden bonding of Angel and Demon. And the warrior woman did her best to just keep the boy alive. During her struggle to get him to his demon and safety she was injured.

"She told the boy he had to fight, to save everyone he cared for. As her life drained away from her wound she kissed him, pouring everything she felt for him and the girl of fire into that kiss. It was enough to get him to the demon. But as she died and he approached it he found something horrible. The demon had been frozen in ice, with no way for him to free it. It was at that moment he heard the pained screams of the girl of fire, as nine white demons came down from the heavens. She came out of her darkness and was rekindled, but as she defeated one demon after another the demons she fought healed themselves. They stabbed her with their magical spears, almost killing her. When the boy heard her scream he saw his demon break free of the ice.

"That was when he went to her, but found he had gotten there too late. She was broken and bleeding, and the boy went mad as did his demon. The nine attacked him, attempting to crucify him for his fathers sins. As this was happening the avatar turned on the father, instead going to the young boy once she merged with the Angel she was created from. The Angel now had the avatars face, and brought him into her arms. The Angel gave him a choice."

Shinji had finished mopping and went to empty his bucket. Mana followed him as he put away the cleaning supplies and returned to the classroom. As he was ensuring all the desks were in ordered he continued, "The choice the Angel gave him was simple. He could give up his life as he knew it, as the people he had stood by knew it for a paradise. He would be with all of them for all eternity, but as with all things their was a price. They would lose that which made them special to him. The girl of fire would lose her spirit, the Avatar would lose her quiet yet thoughtful demenor. And the warrior woman would lose all the care and heart she had given to the children. In order for this paradise to exist they would have to lose that which made them human. Or he could choose to return to the real world, the world of pain and loss. He would suffer there, but the people he cared for would still be them."

Mana had been drawn into the story and asked, "What did he chose?"

Shinji smiled as he said, "He chose the real world. Because he knew that being with those people he cared for was meaningless if they were stripped of what made them who they were. So he rejected the paradise offered to him and returned to the real world. But that was when he learned of what had really happened. All the souls in the land had glimpsed that paradise, but hadn't seen what the cost for it would be. So every soul, young and old, filled themselves with hatred for the boy who had denied them their paradise. The Girl of Fire ceased to speak to all who were near her, and her silence was blamed on his failure to save her. The people scorned him, cursed him, damned him to live the rest of his days alone. He understood though what would have happened.

"For the first time in his life though, he knew that he would always be alone. Even as he told himself every day since that he had done the right thing."

Shinji picked up his bag and walked towards the door without even sparing the young woman a glance. She asked, "What finally happened to him?"

"He still walks the land to this day, hoping that the Girl of Fire will forgive him his failure. And that the people will understand what he had to do to save them."

Shinji left, leaving Mana to think on what he had said.

Mana noticed the next day at school that Ikari wasn't present. Oddly enough neither was Asuka. She asked Hikari about where Asuka was. Hikari said, "She's at the grave of someone who was like a mother to her."

Mana Kirishima knew at that point that Asuka had been the Girl of Fire.

--

Kodama had driven Asuka to the cemetery that morning. Though she always stayed in the car and left Asuka to her thoughts. Hikari and Nozomi spent most of their time around the girl trying to bring her back to the normal world. Kodama however felt differently then her sisters. The younger girls ignored or missed a lot of signs in Asuka's demeanor that only the young could miss. Like now, Hikari would have been attached at Asuka's hip. Kodama however knew there were times when the best thing to do would be to let her work some of this out on her own. She also didn't want to intrude on something so very personal.

That was when she saw him walking just a little ahead of her car. The boy who everyone hated, for no real reason she could describe. All Kodama would have to do would be to hit the accelerator and he'd be gone for good. Her foot hovered over the accelerator for a moment, then moved away. The fact of the matter was no matter what she felt against the boy, Kodama Horaki was no murderer.

She watched the boy and his Penguin walk out towards the same gravestone Asuka had gone.

--

Asuka said her silent prayers at the grave marker. It had been three years, but the loss felt like yesterday. Everything felt like it had just happened, and the last three years had been a dream. The war, the defeats, all the pain still weighed on her even now. She still hadn't been able to heal, even after what she had seen in that moment when all were one soul. What she had seen within his soul.

Even now she couldn't face what it had shown her deep down.

She heard the sound of foot steps along her left side. She didn't need to look up to know who it was. Only one other person ever visited this grave at this time. Shinji would always come to this one first with a bundle of flowers for the woman that had meant everything to them both. He sat the flowers down on the grave and stepped back beside Asuka. PenPen was with him as always. No one said anything for a while as they contemplated Misato Katsuragi's grave.

"I wish she was still with us. Out of everyone we ever knew she was the only one who even tried to care," Shinji said. Asuka could only nod.

"I still set a place for her every night thinking she'll come out in something way too revealing to tease me about the day. I miss those nights so much. I even saved all the pictures I could find of her. All the happy times we had together. You can come over any time to look at them if you want," he said. Shinji didn't expect an answer.

"I set a place for you at the table every night as well. Your room is ready for you if you ever decide to come back. Or if you just want to go and get what belongs to you. I made sure everything is cleaned up," Shinji said. Asuka was biting her lip now, trying not to cry out. They just stood there for the longest time, the three members of that little family that was. It felt like hours passed by as they stood there.

Shinji turned to leave, two other graves needed his attention today. As he left he said over his shoulder, "No matter how you feel about me, you'll always have a place at my table Asuka."

As Shinji walked away Asuka felt something hug her leg. Looking down she saw PenPen looking up at her. He let out a plaintive wark, begging Asuka to come home. She shook her head to the old bird, knowing she couldn't. The penguin tightened his hug before waddling off to keep up with Shinji. She never saw the single tear that fell from Shinji's cheek, she was blinded by a torrent of her own.

--

Three weeks passed at school. And in that whole time Mana had been trying to figure out her next move. She kept close to Hikari and Asuka, watching the two as the weeks went by. Kensuke had spoken with her after she had talked with Ikari. What he had told her had cleared a lot of things up that bugged her. She now knew most of what had happened three years ago, the war against the Angels had been laid out in bitter detail. Somehow the blond haired boy had even gotten her information related to the death of Major Katsuragi. The entire affair made her violently ill when she read over it at home.

Still, she had determined a course of action. She had to get Asuka and Ikari into the same area with no distractions. She didn't know if this would work, but it might give Asuka what she needed to start talking again. For Ikari she really didn't care, but he was the key to getting Asuka to talk. Mana was certain of it now.

"_They fought a war together, lived together, if there was ever anything between them than that is what she has to deal with,"_ Mana thought.

She didn't know if she bought what Ikari was trying to sell her with his tale of woe. She didn't believe such a thing was possible, or even logical. Mana was more of an atheist then anything else, she didn't believe in souls. However she couldn't deny the fact that something was causing her to hate someone without every even having known them. She also couldn't deny that it was so instinctual that it seemed to override her intellect.

"_Maybe there is something to all of it."_

Still, even if she didn't buy it all she knew what she had to do. She had to force a confrontation between the two. It was the only way, she was certain of it. How though was the major issue. Hikari wouldn't let Asuka out of her sight for longer then two minutes for fear of such a thing. And while she thought Kensuke might support her she still had Touji to contend with. What he would do was up in the air, and she hadn't had much contact with him. Perhaps the direct approach would be best, or the tried and true method every girl had of getting another in a private conversation.

"Hey Asuka, come with me to the bathroom," Mana said. She grabbed the redheads wrist and dragged her along with her. Hikari was about to go after them but a hand fell on her shoulder. She looked at the hand and then to it's owner.

"Don't sweat it, you have to let go of her sometime 'Kari," Touji said.

"I have to keep that bastard away from her," Hikari answered.

Touji's eyebrow twitched a bit, "Maybe for now, but some day soon we'll have to let her go. You know that."

Hikari sighed as Touji wrapped his arms around her, "You lost your sister because of him. Why are you trying to stop me from protecting her from the same fate?"

Touji sighed, "Because you can't protect her forever Hikari. But trust me, if he ever lays a hand on her I'll make sure he regrets it. I won't let that bastard hurt anyone again if I can stop him."

--

The girls room was empty as Mana washed her hands. Asuka seemed to be taking her time in one of the stalls. This was probably going to be her only chance, but Mana was willing to take it.

"I asked Ikari if he knew why he was hated by everyone. Can't say I understand it, I've never met him but I just can't stop hating him. Ever since I first laid eyes on the boy I knew there was someone worth hating. And that bugged me, so I bugged him. Gave me some bs story about souls and girls of fire," she heard Asuka shuffle a bit at that. She was on the right track.

"Aida tells me there was some kind of war here three years ago. That you and Ikari were apart of whatever that incident was that nearly obliterated this city. I looked over everything he had. Woke up screaming a few nights from it and that was just for the looking."

Mana took a paper towel from the dispenser and dried her hands, "I don't know what happened between you two. Everyone here seems to think it's a foregone conclusion that you hate him more then the rest of us. I don't know if you do or not. It doesn't matter what I know, or what the others think.

"You have something you need to do, Asuka. You haven't spoken to anyone in three years, which means you either have nothing to say anymore or you have something you have to say to someone else before you can move on. I'm betting that someone is Ikari."

She heard what sounded like sniffling as Asuka exited the stall. The red haired girl had tears in her eyes as she walked up to Mana. Mana said, "I don't care what you need to say to him. Tell him you hate him, tell him to never let you go. Slap him and scream out about how much you'll never forgive him. Grab him and swear your heart for the rest of time. I don't care what you say to him, but whatever it is you have to say, do it now. Stop this and do what you need to do to move on and live your life."

Mana didn't wait for Asuka to join her, just walked out of the bathroom. Asuka turned and looked at herself in the mirror. She could see the weak little girl that had sworn that one promise never to cry again. That little girl she hated remembering she had been. She dried her eyes and washed her face then looked back in the mirror. Her eyes were still as full of fear and sadness as always. But the words Mana had said wouldn't leave her.

--

Shinji entered his apartment more slowly then usual tonight. PenPen noticed and waddled out to the boy and saw why. Shinji was now sporting a developing bruise over his left eye, and held his side protectively. PenPen warked and waddled away, returning with the first aid kit. Shinji closed the door and collapsed in the hallway as PenPen took out the disinfectant. Shinji didn't question how the bird knew what to do as his flippers cleaned the cut above Shinji's eye. It had become an all too common occurrence.

The sting from the antiseptic however was no where near the stabbing pain her felt in his heart. Three years of this. Days of loneliness and apathy marked with the occasional brutal beating at the hands of men and women he had saved. People who had no idea what he had gave up for them. Even now as PenPen waddled back and forth to the kitchen, bringing him a glass of water and two pain killers he repeated the same thing. Over and over again as if he were praying to a God that did not hear him.

"I made the right decision. I did the right thing. I made the right decision. I did the right thing," he mumbled under his breathe. For the first time though, those words rang hollow in his ears. No matter how many times he said them the lingering doubt of whether or not it was worth this had started to eat into his soul.

He couldn't take it anymore and simply broke down there in the hallway. The tears flowed freely as he wept. His heart screamed for someone to simply show some kindness. This nightmare he couldn't wake from had gone on so long he was almost certain he had been cast into hell. He wept for the life he had known, the people who had once cared for him. All he could do was weep and beg them to forgive him. PenPen let out a low, sorrowful wark and did the only thing his small body would allow. He wrapped his flippers as far around the boys shoulders as he could and held him. They were small avian shoulders, but right now stronger then ten men.

--

Seven days passed and Mana was starting to wonder if Soryu would ever do anything. There were changes however. Mana noticed Asuka started getting a little annoyed look on her face when bad things were spoken against Shinji. One time when Hikari had called him a "bastard" Mana had noticed a disgusted look form on Asuka's face. The amazing thing however was it was pointed directly at Hikari. Ikari came in limping a few days and favoring one side as he walked. Asuka would look at him and actually looked like she was sympathetic to him.

When Touji had said he wished he had gotten in on that assault Asuka had hit him with the most venomous gaze Mana had seen in her life. If Touji had been paying attention he might have died from it. Something was changing with the German girl, and Mana felt that whatever the change was it would be for the better. It was as if she was getting herself ready for something important. Calling on every ounce of strength she had until she was ready.

"I haven't seen her glare like that in years. Whatever you said to her must have been pretty good," Kensuke said from behind Mana. Mana let out a startled shoot and turned on the blond boy. She slapped him hard on the arm.

"Don't do that!"

"Of course my lady," he said, a roguish smile on him face.

Mana shook her head, but couldn't keep the smile off her lips, "Does that actually work with girls, Aida?"

"I don't know. You're the first," he said.

Mana shook her head, but kept the smile on her face. Kensuke walked around and sat across from her. He leaned his chin into his right hand and said, "You've been here over six weeks and already you rate highest on my list of interesting people."

Mana fained offense, "It took me six weeks to get that far?"

Kensuke smirked, "You have some intense competition, to include der redhead and Ikari."

Mana smiled lightly, "So she used to look at people like that?"

"Only when they pissed her off or were behaving like quote, 'Perverse Idiota.'"

Mana looked confused for a moment, then Kensuke clarified, "Perverted Idiot, Asuka is German so when she got angry she'd switch over to her native tounge."

"I see. So is that all you come to me for? To pine for days of speaking red heads?"

Kensuke simply smiled at her, "You aren't too hard on the eyes either. Thing is, you've tried to do more in the last month and a half then anyone has thought to do in three years. I admire that."

This actually was something Mana was wondering, "Why haven't you tried anything before now?"

Kensuke sighed and looked away. Mana could here the shame in his voice as he spoke, "Because I'm too close to the whole damned thing. Every time I try to even get near him that hate starts boiling in me. You've felt it, and you were strong enough to fight past it. Me, well I don't know if I could or not. He was my friend though, so I'd rather not risk being overcome by it and doing something rash. The bitch of it is I can't say that I'd do something I'd regret. Whatever caused this wouldn't let me have that shred of decency."

Mana reached out and placed her hand over his. She squeezed it softly as she ran her thumb along the back of his hand. Her voice was soft as she said, "At least you never gave into it like it seems everyone else has. That has to count for something."

Kensuke smiled as he placed his other hand over hers, "The only way I haven't given in has been removing myself from the temptation. I saw how easily Touji gave into it. He never was one to think anything through just went with his gut. I couldn't do that. So does that make me anything less then a coward?"

"It makes you human," Mana said.

They shared a moment, something passing between them neither could put into words. Mana saw something in Ken's eyes she couldn't explain, and felt something in her chest she couldn't quiet put a word too. It was something special between the two of them. The moment was over all too soon however, broken by the sounds of fists striking flesh.

Mana and Kensuke looked up as they heard a voice scream, "How do you like that you freak?!"

Both teens ran to an already large group of people gathering around four boys, two holding one who seemed to be bleeding from his lip and another pounding his fists repeatedly into the restrained young man's gut. The boy throwing the punches didn't let up as he kept insulting the victim. Kensuke and Mana were not shocked to see who the victim of this was.

Shinji Ikari however wasn't fighting back. He had had enough of fighting every time someone attacked him like this. He was tired, tired of being hated, tired of being alone, tired of everything. All he could do now was take what these boys and everyone else did to him. He just didn't have the strength anymore to fight it. He ended up thrown to the ground and tried to block out the pain as the boys kicked him hard in the ribs.

All he could do was mumble over and over was, "I did the right thing." But it was so soft no one heard him.

The group of students around the beating grew, and Mana was horrified to heard how many were cheering for this. She looked at the broken boy on the ground and was horrified that she was beginning to feel what the mob was feeling. She turned to Ken and buried her face in his chest. She couldn't take what she was seeing, and was comforted only a little as she felt the boys arms wrap around her shoulders to protect her.

They weren't the only people horrified by this.

Asuka watched, slowly feeling something in her stomach build. She watched as the kicks and punches struck Shinji. Then turned her head back to the people around her and saw them cheering, supporting this mindless beating. She did this once or twice.

IT was the first time she had spoken in three years, "How disgusting."

The boy who had started the beating was rearing back to punch Ikari right in the nose when he felt a grip of iron wrap itself around his wrist. Before he could turn around he felt his arm yanked around and struck hard in the elbow, snapping his arm in an instant. He looked up as he craddled his injured arm and saw the enraged face of Asuka Langley Soryu glaring at him with nothing but the most intense rage imaginable.

Asuka didn't stop though. First she kicked him in the face, then slammed her hand hard into his stomach. The other two boys saw her as the greater threat and tried to pull her off the leader. All this got them was an elbow into the gut of one boy and a heal to the crotch of the other. Asuka demonstrated exactly how well she had been trained in combat as she dismantled the three boys and shoved them hard away from the middle of the ring.

She stood there and glared at everyone around her. Mana was able to bring her self to look up and saw Asuka standing before all of the students, and she had never been more afraid in her life. The first of the students to come out of their stupour was Hikari as she marched up to Asuka and said, "What are you doing? How can you defend that bastard?"

The slap was heard across the entire courtyard. Asuka drew her hand back to her side as she glared at the Class Representative. She looked over the entire population around her as she said, "Anyone who speaks against him from now on will get the same. You lift your hand against him and I will snap it at the wrist. You try and kill him and I will make you wish I had killed you."

Asuka turned around as she went on, "Three years, in three years not one of you has shown one ounce of gratitude for what he did. Even if the UN kept what happened from the general public everyone here knows the truth. You all know about the Angels, about what he and I and Ayanami had to fight against. We sacrificed our childhoods, our freedoms, even our sanity to defend this city and by extension the whole planet," She stuck a finger pointing directly to the poor boy on the ground, "He almost sacrificed his very soul to save your worthless lives! And how do you repay that sacrifice? You mock him, condemn him, assault and beat him. He never did anything to any of you. He only wanted to keep all of you from being hurt. But I guess that isn't enough for the lot of you. All of you make me feel sick!"

The crowd was starting to back off, the guilt of what they had done and how they had acted taking hold of them. They could no longer feel the hate the always felt. Soryu had made sure they had no one to answer to but their own conscious now. They were the ones guilty now, not the one they had blamed for it all.

Asuka looked directly at Mana and Kensuke, then moved to get Shinji off the ground. She threw and arm over her shoulders and wrapped an arm around her waist. She hadn't carried this much weight in a while and had problems getting the unconsious boy up. She felt hr burden lighten and looked across the boy. She saw Kensuke smirking as he helped her carry Shinji inside. Mana walking in front of them to get the doors.

--

He was laying on something soft, that was the most his mind could be bothered with at the moment. Someone was sitting next to him and running a moist clothe over his face, cleaning his wounds. It had been forever since he had known anything like this gentle touch. So long that he was almost afraid to open his eyes and see that it was just a dream. It was just easier right now to keep his eyes closed, but he hadn't had it easy most of his life.

He had expected to see no one around him and just be looking up at the infirmary ceiling. He didn't expect the clear blue eyes starring back into his. Or the brilliant red hair lightly brushing against his cheek as she bent over him. He just lay there, thinking he might have been dead as the vision of a true angel played before his eyes. But the touch of her hand against his unbruised cheek, and the pain that shot through his body told him that this wasn't a dream, and that he was very much alive.

Asuka gave him a light smile as she lightly caressed his cheek over and over. He tried to speak but she placed her hand against his lips and said, "Shhhhh, don't say a word. Whatever it is you did, or think you did to deserve this doesn't matter now. I forgive you, and I'm sorry for abandoning you and leaving you alone for so long."

Shinji couldn't speak as he slowly smiled, truly smiled at her and felt tears flow from his eyes. He had hoped to hear those words for so long that now that he had his heart seemed to beat fast. The world stopped as he slowly sat up and hugged Asuka. She smiled as she heard him whisper back, "I forgive you too. Please come home."

This exchange did not go unseen. Kensuke and Mana had kept an eye on the two since they had gotten Ikari onto the bed. They had kept their distance as Asuka and the Nurse looked over Shinji's wounds. They had witnessed the moment of forgivness, and something else. Everyone in the school, everyone in Tokyo-3, in fact every person on the planet in that moment felt as if something had been lifted from their shoulders. It was as if everything was right with the world for that single moment of time.

Kensuke placed his hand on Mana's shoulder and motioned his head towards the door. She smiled and took his hand in hers and followed him out into the hallway. They ran into Hikari and Touji standing there at the threshold. Kensuke noticed Hikari couldn't look either him or Mana in the eye. Touji had a worried look on his face as he held his girlfriend. Kensuke and Mana left them without a word exchanged between the two couples.

Kensuke and Mana walked hand in hand as they approached the roof looking over the school yard. Once they knew they were alone Kensuke said, "You did good kid."

Mana shook her head, "She would have stepped in even if I had done nothing. She just needed someone to tell her they knew she would."

Mana felt Kensuke's arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her into an intimate embrace. She relaxed into it and said, "What happens now?"

She could feel Kensuke smile, "Now they move on with life, and so do we. Without the hate, and without being hated. We move on like we were meant to."

They stood there like that for the rest of the day, ignoring the fact they were not in class. They simply stood there and contemplated the future. Their future, and the future of one who had know the greatest loneliness in the world. That of being alone in a crowd, exiled without being cast out of society. They had been there and seen when the boy who saved the world's exile ceased.

_The End_

Author's Notes: I had this running in my head a couple of months. I couldn't quite get it running in my head but I eventually got to it. I thought that it was possible that something could happen at the soul level. That if every soul had seen it's paradise but hadn't been given the choice of stay or go, they would blame the one responsible for returning them to the real world. Even if in the normal world they wouldn't know it.

Pre-Readers; Himonky, Dartz, Fresh C, J. C. Moorehead.


End file.
